Jul 1, 20143:45 PM
It is mind boggling just how self-entitled some people on the internet are. I'm reading recast confessions and bjd confessions in general and I'm just fucking amazed how people use reasons so out of the way to justify some things. Also, an SG owner keeps getting flake about posting non-bjd stuff on her instagram. Hello, no one says her account is one thing only. And even when she posts bjd photos but of them in cosplay, people have the gall to comment to tell her they want just bjd photos, not in cosplay. Seriously?
But back to recast and self-entitledness. I'm not saying that everyone is self-entitled but definitely a few of these people who are all, oh woe me, the legit company has poor customer service, and woe me, the legit company is back-logged, and woe me, the legit doll I want is limited and out of stock, let me get a recast instead. And not only that, but thinking they have every right and reason to do so. While disregarding the fact that recasts are harmful to the artist, to the stability of the market (a secondary but nonetheless important problem). No, of course, it's just about them wanting to get the doll they want.
That aside, I've gone from being neutral recast to anti-recast recently. Well, not that recent recently, but yeah.
Anyway, I'm not going to write why etc because it's long and I'm lazy to when so many people have wrote about recasts and all. And I keep thinking about how the arguments on both sides have to come from different reasons (because other wise the 2 sides would just be disagreeing in a very retarded, I say this, and the other person is like, NO, and I'm like YES, and they're like NO and so on), and how the anti-recast side is going recasts hurt artists, and pro-recasters are like, cheaper dolls, we're not harming anyone!
Yeah. Self entitled much?
I think I went a big round and ended up saying pro-recasters are all self-entitled anyway. In some way. But ain't we all, ain't we all? Just maybe a bit less on this recast debate for me here.
But yes. Self-entitled much?
Jun 28, 20148:52 PM
Reason for staying at home: chicken pox.
So yes, I finally got chicken pox at the age of 20 something. Age aside, I have a few thoughts about chicken pox.
1. I don't need to be at work for 2 weeks. Which is awesome. I'm just so tired having to travel to work every weekday.
2. My sis has moved into my brother's room for now cos of my pox. So I essentially have the whole room to myself.
3. I'm not supposed to touch most stuff so I have to keep asking people to help me refill my bottle. Cos I drink a shitload of water when I'm at home and sick, apparently. Even though I drink quite little in school :/ Nowadays anyway.
4. Chicken pox are annoying not so much because they itch (they did that for 1 day which was terribly itchy and I hate that so I slept most of the day away), but because they're annoying bumps that I can't scrub or touch too much or too roughly so I have to bathe with a lot of care. And don't even mention washing my hair. Especially with an oily scalp. Just tedious. :(
5. So many pox. And with pus. Why?
Yeah. That's about my thoughts on the pox for now. It's in the stage of starting to dry up so that's better. I'm gonna be missing the free time it's given me though, when I have to go back to work. Work is fucking tiring. Even more so than school. Like even though I'm not doing much, it's so much more tiring. Maybe it's just the travelling time, having to squeeze with the morning and evening crowd everyday for 1.5h or so each time.
I started watching Orange is the New Black but I'm not super fast on it. I'm not sure if it's mostly cos I'm not feeling very much like YEA about it so far. It's not bad. But not much hook. So far.
Also.
I wonder. Especially after watching the video. And about burn out. And don't watch the whole playlist, I just can't find the video link without the playlist right now. I dunno. Or watch the whole list. I like her videos, most of the time.
Jun 21, 201412:42 AM
Saw a bit of my old dA stuff's description, and man was I so uninformed back then. Silly silly things.
***
Sometimes I just want to rant. To ignore how my rants would affect others or their feelings, but somehow recently, as if I don't already bottle things up enough, it's been getting worse. I don't know if it's cos I moved home and I've gotten too used to having the freedom in hostel, to just sit in my room and feel whatever it is I feel, angry, sad, tired, empty. To play my music or watch videos to cheer myself up. Honestly I'm just sick and tired and I want to be less angry but I can't help it, and I don't have a good outlet for it.
There's so many other things weighing down on my mind, including but not limited to visa application, dolly stuff, transactions etc online and blahblahblah. Oh yeah. Work too. But to a lesser extent. There's just, I don't know, many things.
I just feel like I can't do or say anything because. I don't know man, sometimes I just feel like I don't put myself first enough.
And how ironic is that?
I want to laugh. But I can't. I want to cry. And I can't. All I have on is a forced smile-frown.
Jun 13, 201411:08 PM
First of all, what?? It's probably really slow, but I realised today that my blog header has a different drawing on the mobile page and on the normal page on my laptop. Like what? Why? Why, blogger? Also, the drawing on the mobile page is SUPER old. 2008 in fact. I was like, oh my gosh I forgot I even had this drawing somewhere. Also, the *coughs* awesome quality is courtesy of my then Nokia phonecamera. Which is all sorts of *wonderful*.
Laptop:
Mobile:
Just so you know the one on the laptop is the one I always thought I'm using. So yeah. If you're viewing this on mobile, you see that crappy drawing cos something weird happened on my blog, I don't know why. :/
Jun 8, 20141:02 AM
I went to a convention as a booth owner for the first time today. It's for anime/manga/cosplay and while I would probably prefer being a booth owner at a doll con, this wasn't too bad. I like it better than just going (or god forbids, cosplaying. Tiring thing.). But experience aside, which is generally good, I do feel some sort of anguish (?) and I've been wondering why from when I came home (about 5 hours ago?).
I think despite the fact that the booth, which I shared with 2 other people, did pretty okay for sales in general (in fact we might be one of the better artist booth. Merchandise booths tend to be more commercial so it's hard to compare anyway), I sold the least things out of us 3. Which wasn't unexpected, really. And the ones that sold were (surprisingly) my watercolour of Caillen and not as surprisingly the Supernatural ones. But I think I sold like 8 postcards in total. Haha. Which is really little. But anyway. I'm not comparing with them or anything (especially when they draw much more than I do, so it's my laziness in part too?), it's mainly just about me and my art and thoughts so...
The thing is, I have this reluctance to draw fanart compared to original art. Sure, fanart sells more easily. It's easier to earn at conventions selling fanart, but I don't like that. I don't like that the pieces I spent more time on and are more proud of are ignored, over another drawing I did with less thought (like the Caillen one was just, hey, lets draw something to try watercolours on...) gets more crowd attention. And the fact that people would buy something just for the characters they like, rather than because your art is drawn well or whatnot. I think I just feel like the effort isn't worth it, if it's meant to be a crowdpleaser, because it seems that crowds are easily impressed by things I don't think are impressive, and unimpressed by things I think are impressive. Basically, I don't agree with the general consensus. (I guess this applies to many other things but I'm not gonna go into that). And it's hard because on one hand, I want to draw stuff I want to draw, but on the other hand I don't want to go to conventions and lose money, you see? And even money aside, even if I break even/make a profit from the convention, the fact that my stuff are not being appreciate grates me more than the fact that it doesn't sell.
I'm not even like, oh my god, my work is great, you are not seeing it. No, what I'm saying is that I don't think my art is fantastic, but I have pieces which I think are better than others, and like hm, wow, people's opinions sure do differ. Rather significantly too.
Obviously I can't expect people to like what I do, but I think my *need* to hang on to my own "artistic integrity" or whatever you wanna call it where I draw stuff I like, not stuff to sell (because I'm of the opinion that if you don't like whatever you're doing, especially creative stuff, it shows, no matter how good the standard is or what, it just loses that spark) goes against the *want* to sell my work/have it appreciated. The fact that people glance over stuff and only look for fandom characters, and buy stuff as such makes me rather sad, to be honest.
I don't know. I always hang on to silly things and upset myself but I don't like to go back on my own principles just cos the crowd says so. Maybe in a bigger way I'm considering the theory/principle of holding on to my beliefs (ha, beliefs are usually flawed, but yeah) or letting the crowd (society?) dictate. I'm just thinking, when does it become that one loses holding on to their own beliefs (I'm not saying such beliefs are set in stone. They're subjected to change, especially when you grow older but I mean in general your beliefs) and just follow everyone else?
I'm probably thinking too much into this, but it's a constant struggle, especially when I look back at the stuff I have on dA, photos or drawings, and I think about how I try to stick to what I believe.
Struggles. Struggles some more.
Jun 5, 20149:43 PM
I don't feel like putting this on deviantart so I'm just gonna put it here cos I feel like I should show this drawing, haha. He's a new OC... I say he cos even though he was born in a girl's body he felt that he was always a guy. Yeah, a trans OC. Who's wearing a binder and has angel wings tattooed on his back. Whose name I've not decided yet. I'm thinking Oliver (previously Olivia) but Oliver reminds me too much of Oliver Twist which I had to read in sec 2...so uhhhhh. Still thinking.
Main reason why it's not going on dA is cos I don't feel like I know enough to make this character solid yet, and I don't know, I'm just worried that there's gonna be people who'll kick up a fuss (especially on the whole, you don't know shit cos you ain't trans variations) but I'm probably just worrying too much. Either ways, I don't like having too much inputs on OCs when they're still in the making, and I have no control on what people might say on dA so yeahh, no posting there. Here, even though I've no idea who else reads my blog, at least I know I won't get anything unexpected, haha. The expected norm being that I don't get any comments, which is good in a way.
Oh yeah, I wanted to say I am actually quite proud (am I allowed to say that? I guess I will anyway) of the drawing even though I see that the eyes are not perfect (I bet flipping the image would show the wonkiness) but I like how I managed to draw him in his earlier years with a hint of similar features. Maybe I've failed but shhhh, let me live in my happy thoughts.
9:33 PM
I'm wondering who are the people reading this blog whom I don't know, cos I see non-Australian entries out there...hmm.
The other day my mum found a photo of my brother when he was in kindergarten. He was in a weird outfit for some performance and he has sparkly eyeshadow and stuff, haha. That aside, I'm pretty amazed by how different he looks now. I always have an impression that he's still super young (which I guess he is.. sort of, but not that young anymore, he's sec 3 already, I keep forgetting). I also found an old passport sized photo from sec 1 of me. Those photos they made you take in school, haha. I was so...I don't know, different? I look so young (not just in terms of age). And tan, haha. And I obviously had no idea what to do in front of a camera (still not great at it, honestly)...
I should go flip through my old photo albums sometime. I used to do it with my sis every other weekend or something in primary school and I still remember that but it's a looooonnnng time ago. Man, should go see. Though chances are I'll find silverfish more than anything cos no one's taken anything out for super long. >.>
